Most sports are run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. Only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do.
Baseball and football are two of the most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything’s dying.
In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs – “What down is it?”
Baseball is concerned with ups – “Who’s up?”
In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on,
late hit and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog…
In baseball, if it rains, you don’t go out to play.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two-minute warning.
In baseball, for the fans, there’s kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there’s not too much unpleasantness.
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault.. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the enemy’s defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe!
(adapted from George Carlin)